One time I waited outside a woman’s house for five days just to show her how serious I was about wanting to drill her. Turns out, it was the wrong house. She loved the story anyway. We got to third base. Over the pants.

(Source: dailypawnee, via ilanawexler)

bearhatalice:

necturusmaculosus:

busket:

stunningpicture:

Perfectly timed wedding photo

so she’s marrying a shark in disguise right

when will my reflection show
who i am
inside

Nobody suspects a thing

bearhatalice:

necturusmaculosus:

busket:

stunningpicture:

Perfectly timed wedding photo

so she’s marrying a shark in disguise right

when will my reflection show

who i am

inside

Nobody suspects a thing

(via seriously-youknow)

poochcrew:

Pizza with extra sausage.

poochcrew:

Pizza with extra sausage.

(via lesliie-muah)

comedycentral:

Click here for more of Jon Stewart’s coverage of the recent House Committee on Science, Space and Technology hearing.

(via kell887)

(Source: pppper, via wosoamerica)

amypund:

jessicafangirl:

(clears throat)
JOHN HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

NO FUCKING WAY SHIT AND THE THING IN THE GLASS WAS THAT THE 456 HOLY COW OF JESUS

amypund:

jessicafangirl:

(clears throat)

JOHN HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

NO FUCKING WAY SHIT AND THE THING IN THE GLASS WAS THAT THE 456 HOLY COW OF JESUS

(via isntthatwizard)

merlinwhosuperpotterlock:

"i can’t eat that, i’ll get fat"

image

"i can’t sleep in late today i have to do work"

image

"no i can’t watch a whole season in one go that’s lazy"

image

"i can’t-"

image

(via kell887)

(Source: maximus-edit, via lesliie-muah)